Little thoughts on MOMD, Love, and Disney

Well, since he's been back, he's thrown my life into a sort of horrible downward-needy ex-girlfriend spiral. I know that it's not him, really, it's me following the pattern that I've had since I was about 15. After all, I was the one who broke up with him. I know this. I know that there was a reason that back then I just stopped feeling and I have concluded that it's not really him that I miss. It's the idea of him. I miss the connection, so to speak. The concept of being in love. To be completely honest, I think that's why I got married in the first place. Because whether we were right for each other or not, I love being in love. I am infatuated with it really and when I'm not (in love, that is) I tend to seek out the easiest prey and make believe, just so that I can think I am. Dumb, huh? I attribute it to being raised on Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast and an entire video archive of happily-ever-afters. It's not my fault, it's a conspiracy. After being fed a childhood's worth of this bologna, anybody would expect that that's how it works. They should put a disclaimer on those things. WARNING: The contents of this video are not and never will be how it works in real life. There are no happily-ever-afters so stop looking. Now, I'm not cynical and yes, no matter what I will keep looking for the so-called "one", but really, what's a girl to do?