A letter for You....you know who you are.....

Dear you,


I was reading in my journal tonight and I came across and entry fron Septmeber of 04 and it says " I want to be sad alone without him trying to understand and fix it because he can't. There's nothing he can do to make it; me better." I wish that someday you could understand. It makes me wonder if you hate me the wayI hate Jody. Not so much becuase of who he is, but becuase of how badly he hurt me. Ya know?
There's just so much that I wish I could say to you. Not when you're drunk and not to your voicemail.....to you....and to know that you're listening. There is such a thing as soul mates and you should know it. I also think that you're trying too hard to find "the one". You'll know her when she finds you. It's not really something you can rush.....ya know....no matter how bad you want it to happen. One more thing while I'm at it - bitter isn't a good color on you. There are plenty of people out there who have had worse relationships than anything you've ever experienced, but they don't turn into jaded cynists. You told me that the guy I used to know was still there, but he was just taking a break....well frankly, that guy is a lot sexier than who you've become.
I guess when you get down to it, i can tell you i'm sorry until i'm blue inthe face, but I know you're not going to let it go, and I can't spend the rest of my life apologizing for something that I had to do to get me straight. You are one of the most amazing people i know and you always will be, but I've tried everything i can think of and i don't know what else to do but stop trying. I know that i will never have that connection with anyone else and i don't want to lose that. That's what i miss the most. That's why i keep trying. i wish you didn't give up as easily. Oh yeah, if it's any consolation, my New Year sucked too.....not as bad as last year though. Stay safe and sweet dreams.

Luv,
Mis