I didn't give today's entry a title because I just couldn't think of anything suiting. I have so much to say today. I was going to write this weekend, but my broadband connection at the house was acting funny all weekend and I couldn't get logged in.
First things first. I have not had a cigarette since Friday at 12:30. Not even a single puff, although I can't say that cheating hasn't crossed my mind once or three thousand times. If you're counting, that's 4 days today. This is as close as I've come to being a non-smoker since....well, I guess since I started smoking. It has been one VERY rough weekend. I still went out and let me reassure you that trying to drink beer without smoking is like trying to ....... I don't know....do something really hard.....like eat chocolate chip cookies without a glass of milk. (Unless you're lactose intolerant because then it would be easy. ) I have been an emotional wreck. Middle sibling and I got in a knock down drag out because for the thrid time in two weeks, he ate all my tostitos I bought to eat with my TGIF spinach dip. If it was only one bag, or if I had my normal level of nicotine in my system, it might have been okay, but seeing as how neither was the case, I blew like Mt. St. Helens. It was not pretty. You should probably thank your lucky stars that you weren't at my house yesterday morning. So, that's the deal on that.
On a completely different, yet no less frustrating matter, MOMD graduates from basic training next Friday, and yes, I'm a sucker, but I may be making a trip to Chicago to be there for it. LONG STORY. I was at the bar and I talked to Carrie (for those of you who don't know, she was his boss/roommate/landlord/really good friend) and she seems to think that he really does still love me but he is WAY scared and hurt and stuff. He wrote her and told her that he got my letters and that "they give him something to do", but I guess at least he's not throwing them away before he even opens them. She suggested that I write him one more time and she would write him too and let him know that this was pretty much his last chance to get his head on stright before we lose touch and that she thinks he should suck it up and just admit that he loves me. She said that I was still all he talked about right up until he left and that duh, of course he was going to be a prick, he is a guy. I wouldn't put any stock in anything she says except that she lived with him and she's in her mid 30s and has had lots of experience with decifering stupid men. I dunno. I love him. I really do, but I guess it's all up to him now. The letter went out in the mail today, so I'll keep you posted.
Other than that, life in Cleverville has been chuggin on just like normal. Work, school, homework. You know that drill. Oh, yeah, I started running again. It's cooler now and since I quit smoking, all I want to do is eat. God knows that I don't need to gain any more weight, so every time I want a smoke, I go for a run. It's a good trade off I suppose. Someday I might even be able to run the entire way instead of walking for a block after every four of running. Hey, I may have stopped smoking, but expecting more than one miracle a weekend is a pushin it a little. So, I should probably get back to work and let you guys do the same. After all, I am getting paid. I have a feeling the non-smoker thing is going to be all downhill from here, but I'll keep you updated on the MOMD thing. Hugs. TTFN