Tonight you guys get the good stuff

Okay, so, I got so much stuff done today. I got home and cleaned and then, I did yard wrok. All the stuff that I'd been neglecting for WAY too long. I cut down the mulberry tress that invaded my lilac bush and weeded around the garage and started to tame the bushes along the front walk before my pruners went down as a casualty of war. Did I mention that I cleaned...a lot....I scrubbed the toilet. That is a pretty big thing considering I live with two boys. It was icky. Anyway, that's besides the point.
I have a confession to make. I have a friend. A guy friend, who I could fall in love with if I let myself. Okay, I'm sure if you've read any of these posts at all, you know who it is, so there really is no hiding it. I was thinking about Keith and I and how his gf is turning a bit psycho (I think more because their relationship isn't all that stable than actually because of me), and I think I have a huge decision to make. I think I have to walk away from him, again. I was sitting on the patio, smoking a grit and thinking about how I felt when Jody told me about the gf...before I really knew she was the gf and I started feeling bad. Here he is, he's been datin this girl for over two years, an although their relationship isn't great, and I don't think he wants to be with her, he is. Bottom line. He has a girlfriend. I know that she really cares about him. Probably loves him, and is most likely feeling that helpless feeling you get when your relationship is falling apart in front of your face and there's nothing you can do to stop it, but I don't think she's the one........I digress again...Back to the point.
I feel bad for making her jealous. I know that Keith would do anything for me and loves hanging out with me and stands up for me to her, and in a way it makes me feel good to know that I'm in control of the situation. I know that if I wanted him to break up with her, I could probably make it happen, but I'm not that girl. I'm not going to be that girl. I know that if I wanted to, and if I'd let it happen, we would hook up. But I also know that I could fall in love with him. Therein lies the problem.
First, you have the classic problem of losing a really great friend by trying to take things further. I think, in all honesty, that's why we have never done anything. A chic can have guy friends, but the minute she lets them in her pants, the balance shifts, and all the respect is gone. On top of that, he is NEVER going to get married. He's had it pretty rough in the engagement department (read: 2 engagements-0 walks down the aisle), and I still want a happily ever after. I still dream of getting married again some day and being in love forever (that's the Libra coming out in me). I know that "if" anything happened that it would ruin our friendship because I would want more than he could give me.
He's coming over in the morning and I'm making him breakfast (I kinda owe him for all the free trash picking-up he does for me) and I'm really considering telling him what I think.
What do you think, you're probably asking.....
I think that I'm going to have to stay away for a while. I don't want to be anything remotely close to the cause of a break-up and the only way to do that is to stay away. This being because she's never going to be "okay" with us hanging out and it will inevitably cause fights and fights almost always lead to break-ups. Not me. Not his time. Not with him. After all, he is my favorite boy in the world....I don't want to do that to him. I love him too much for that.


PS....in case you haven't noticed, I'm feeling a little sappy this evening. Sorry for the mush talk, but it's been weighing on my mind a lot lately and this, being my outlet, is where I go with it.